Not How It Should Be (Destiel)
by SecretsAren'tTold
Summary: When Dean wakes up, he finds out that things aren't how they should be, the first time he wakes up, things are exactly as he wants them to be, he's living the married life with Cas, but the second time this happens, he's horrified at what he finds.
1. Chapter 1

Dean knew even before he opened his eyes, that he had a hangover by the way his head was pounding.

Blinking awake, Dean slowly started to realize two things. One, he was naked. He could feel his hard on and it was pressing against skin. Two, there was someone -a he - lying on top of him. Looking down, Dean saw he had his arms wrapped around a dark-haired guy whose head was just resting on Dean's chest like it was the most natural thing in the world. And if that wasn't enough, the man in question was also naked, his hips pressed down into Dean's side and the dude's leg was tangled with Dean's.

Dean didn't start freaking out until he got a better look at the guys face and realized it was Cas. Fucking, Cas! Cas, who was like family! Ok, so maybe not in the way Sam was family, but still!

How in the hell had Dean ended up in a bed - a soft one at that - naked with a freaking Angel of the Lord?! Or the better question was, did they actually do anything?

Dean's face flamed as he wiggled a little to see how his butt was feeling. To his complete horror, he winced as he felt a dull ache down there.

Son of a bitch! Dean was a bottom when he was drunk! Dean's face was full on flaming now, the tips of his ears were so hot they felt like they were sizzling.

"Dean you're insatiable," Castiel's voice caused Dean to almost jump out of his skin.

"Wha -" Dean squeaked as Cas, without even opening his eyes, reached under the blankets and started to stroke Dean's raging hard on. Damn morning wood!

Dean tried really hard to make himself, well, not hard, but it was really freaking difficult when Castiel's large soft and warm hands were stroking him in a way that had his hips bucking. Seriously, has the angel never done labor in his life? How could a man's hands be so soft?!

Damn his body was turning on him! Seriously, wasn't Cas new at the sex life thing? How the hell did he learn how to use his hand like that anyway?

"Oh god!" Dean nearly yelled as Castiel's hand moved down lower, shoving one finger into him.

Not being able to take it anymore and realizing his breathing was now hitching, Dean threw himself off the bed. Not very smooth, but at least it got him away having a finger up his ass. Seriously, Dean may have used to sleep with guys, back in high school, but after his father found out and nearly kicked him to the curb for it, Dean has never ever got back in bed with a guy. And he sure as hell was never a bottom!  
Dean promised himself then and there never to drink another alcoholic beverage again, although he immediately got rid of that thought and thought instead that a few shots would be good right about now.

Cas poked his head over the side of the bed. His eyes were sparkling and his mouth twisted up in a smile. Dean tried to keep his eyes off Castiel's sexy after sex hair that was poking up all over the place. No, not sexy! C'mon, this was Cas!

"I know I'm good, but not that good," Cas rested his head on his arms as he watched Dean's face heat up. "So stop trying to flatter me."

"Cas man, what the fuck?" Dean felt like he didn't even recognize the man above him. Cas, flirting, eyes sparkling with amusement and he was naked? Who was he?

Cas just rolled his eyes at Dean's tone. "If you're not up for morning sex, just say so. Now get off the floor before I come down there and get you myself." Cas winked, actually winked! Then he disappeared and Dean heard rustling of the sheets.

"Babe? Can you pass me my pants? I think I left my wallet inside."

"Babe?" Dean whispered in confusion as he started to take in his surroundings.

They weren't in Bobby's guest room, they weren't in a motel room. Heck, Dean didn't know where they were. The room was a decent size, it smelled of apples and air freshener, it was clean and it had a homey feel to it. There was sunlight coming from two large windows that were covered by white curtains, one pulled back slightly and underneath the window was a new looking yellow, white and light blue plaid sofa that had two round white pillows on it. The room was decorated yellow, white and blue, all pastel looking.

Looking up at the night stand, Dean saw a brown leather wallet and a white vase with all kinds of different flowers in it. Dean didn't know whose house they broke into, but it must be a family that was living the apple pie life by how the room was looking. Cas was walking to one of the doors in the room. The double doors looked like they could be a closet, but Cas was walking towards the single door. When he opened it, Dean realized it was a bathroom, a very large one too.

"Did you find it?" Cas called out as Dean heard him taking a piss.

Dean blinked, not knowing what to think about the bizarre situation and an angel taking a piss. Dean had no idea angel needed to do things like that when they didn't even eat or drink in the first place. Actually, Cas wasn't even supposed to be sleeping like he had been. Dean thought angels didn't sleep!

"Babe?" Cas called out, Dean barely registering him as he reached down to gather up his own clothes, or clothes that he thought was his and putting them on.

Cas walked back into the room, glaring at Dean just as Dean was zipping up his pants. "You could answer back you know and didn't we already talk about putting on the same clothes you wore the night before?" Cas didn't even seem to be bothered by any of this, nor acting awkward and weird that they freaking had sex last night!

Dean was ready to grab a silver knife, salt and holy water to test Cas out. One of them had to be crazy!

Cas moved forward and dropped to his knees, stopping Dean from speaking as he had intended. "Now let's get these off of you so you can put on new, clean clothes and only after you shower," he spoke as he started unbuttoning Dean's jeans.

Dean flushed all over again, caught between groaning at the thought of Cas giving him a blowjob and horrified that his body was reacting to the sight of Cas on his knees in front of him.

"Just - Stop, I'll do it myself," Dean said, his voice sounding gruff as he stepped away from Cas.

Cas smiled as he stood up and kissed Dean on the cheek, but before Dean could react, Cas was moving away. "I managed to get off work for the day like we talked about, so I'll have breakfast ready by the time you get out. Unless," Cas paused, now standing in the doorway only wearing a white t-shirt and black boxers. "You want me to join you in the shower? I mean unlike you, I didn't pass out before taking a shower, but you know we could always get dirty before actually cleaning up," and then Cas winked at him again that morning, doing funny things to Dean's head.

Snapping out of his thoughts, Dean finally felt like everything was becoming clear. The angel was obviously possessed or under a curse and the sooner Dean called Sam, the better. He'd have Sam come over and they'd both figure out what the hell was wrong with Cas and why he thought of himself as a wife to Dean after only having drunken sex. Or at the very least Sam could tell him what Dean had possibly said to Cas while drunk to make him beleive they were a couple or something insane like that. They had to all have been hanging out at a bar or something together last night. Maybe Sam was also stuck in a situation, waking up right now with a killer hangover and next to a stranger.

"Oh, um, no," Dean coughed, feeling uncomfortable as Cas watched him. "I think I'll just skip a shower."

Cas scrunched up his nose in a way that Dean thought looked cute, but would never admit to thinking. "Don't be disgusting Dean, I shot a load up your ass, you need to clean up, you kinky bastard."

Dean's mouth dropped opened at Castiel's crude words.

"Look Cas, about last night," Dean rubbed the back of his neck. "I think I had one too many to drink and things may have gotten out of hand."

Cas raised an eyebrow at that. "Dean you had a beer a dinner, nothing else and if you're just embarrassed about wanting to be tied down, it's nothing to be ashamed of. If you didn't like it we won't do it again and -"

"No, just no! Stop talking Cas," Dean held up his hand and made his way towards the bathroom. "You win, I'm taking a damn shower." And with that Dean shut and locked the door, deciding that he really did need a shower.

The whole time in the shower Dean had to fight back the urge to stroke himself as hot images of Cas tying Dean up and fucking him.  
This was Cas! Cas! Dean's mind and body was just not getting it! Cas wasn't a fuck buddy!

Dean finished up in the bathroom quickly, making sure before he got out his warm shower that he turned it on freezing cold to get rid of his hard on.

The whole house smelled so delicious as Dean entered the bedroom and he knew Cas was downstairs cooking up a feast, or at least that's what it smelled like.

Looking around, Dean found that somehow his clothing, mixed with new clothing his size were on one side of the closet and clothes that were Castiel's size were on the other side. Grabbing clothing and shoes familiar to him, and wondering what the holy fuck was going on, Dean searched around the room.

Finding a cellphone, Dean typed Sam's number, but the number wasn't working. Cussing, Dean searched through the phone, wondering if it belonged to Cas. The contacts had familiar and unfamiliar names, but Dean found Sam's name and clicked on it.

Sam answered on the third ring. "Hey man, what's up?"

"Sam," Dean whispered, looking behind him to make sure Cas wasn't there. "Something seriously messed up is going on. Where are you?"

"Dean what's wrong? And I'm at home." Sam started to panic, noting the tone of voice Dean was using. Sam knew Dean well enough to know what he sounded like when he was in danger or needed help.

"Home? Well I'm in a freaking unknown house that looks like it belongs in a magazine. I woke up this morning with no memory of last night and Cas, man, he's acting crazy!"

There was a pause before Sam answered. "Um, it sounds like you just had too much to drink last night."

"Yeah I know, but dude, I'm telling you, Cas is acting really freaking strange. He's making me breakfast right now and -"

"Wait, what?" Sam laughed on the other end, causing Dean to scowl. "Since when was that a bad thing?"

"Cas doesn't cook!"

"What are you talking about Dean, he cooks all the time. Matter of fact, I'm about to come over now to get me a plate of what he's making. I hope he made enough for two more!" And with that the line went dead.

"Sam? Sam! Son of a bitch," Dean slammed the phone down on the dresser.

"Dean!" Dean heard Cas call for him, sounding far away.

With a sigh, Dean made his way out into the hallway, noting that there were two doors that looked like they were room and a skinny door that looked like it was a closet. Making his way down the white carpeted stairs, Dean started to notice the picture frames hanging up on the walls. There was a picture of Sam and Dean, one the Dean has never seen or knew he took before. The next of Sam, Dean and Cas. They all looked brotherly and Cas looked serious, more like the angel Dean knew and not this wack-o version of the angel now. Then the last three got weird as they were of only Dean and Cas, but of them looking a little too close. Dean smiling at Cas as Cas looked at the camera with a small smile and blushing. Dean and Cas staring into each others eyes, holding hands and appearing to be at a park, sitting on a blanket. The last one made Dean actually stop and stare. It was of Dean on one knee, a silver ring pinched between his fingers, holding it up to a shocked Cas as an offering.

Ad if in slow motion, Dean looked down at his hand to find a silver and gold twisted band on his finger. Married...to Cas?

He must have been extremely drunk for a lot longer than one night and someone must have spiked his drink for him to find a ring and propose to Cas, making someone else take a picture of the moment!

This all seemed like something the Trickster would do. Dean wouldn't put it passed the archangel, if, you know, he was still alive.  
Before walking into the open kitchen, with Cas standing there placing food on a large plate, Dean walked the other way, going passed the front door and into the living room, going around the rooms to explore.

It turned out that the house looked like it belonged in a magazine. It wasn't overly big, but it was spacey and looking out the windows, Dean could tell they were in the suburbs. The house wasn't one of those where you felt paranoid to walk on the carpet or afraid to even sit anywhere for fear of messing something up. Dean instantly felt comfortable in it, but weirded out too as there were a few pictures here and there of Dean and Cas that Dean didn't remember taking. There were pictures of Sam, a woman with black curly hair and brown eyes and a child with them. Dean froze, as he saw this picture and then another picture with Dean holding the blonde headed little girl. Taking the picture out of the frame and turning it over, Dean saw that in his own hand writing that he had written, "Me and Mary" and then a date on it.

"Dean! Are you out of your shower yet?" He heard Cas calling out. "Food's ready!"

Dean placed back the photo, about to go and demand answers from Cas when there was a knock at the door.

Dean walked towards it and heard it already being opened by Cas. "Hiya Sam!" Cas sounded happy as he answered the door. "I didn't know you were coming over, where's Amelia?"

Dean came into view now, to see the very giant Sam coming inside, hand in hand with a small little blonde girl with green eyes. The same one in the pictures.

"Working," Sam simply said.

Cas reached down and scooped up the Mary girl. She squealed in delight and Dean had to look away as he felt his heart melt at the sight of Cas and a kid. Looking over he saw Sam smirking at him.

"When are you two going to have kids of your own?" Sam asked, looking from Cas to Dean as he said this like it was the most normal thing to say.

Dean was starting to think he was dreaming. Sam was obviously married to this Amelia chick and they had a little girl whom they named after their dead mother, Mary. And Cas and Dean...they were married and living together in this house.

Dean saw black spots dance across his vision and his head felt like it was going to explode. God it hurt, it hurt like a son of a bitch.  
"Dean?" Cas asked and his voice sounded so far away.

Blinking rapidly, Dean came back to himself. Sam and Cas were looking at him in concern and Mary was now hugging his leg, looking up at him with a toothy smile.

"You ok Uncle Dean?" She asked in the sweetest little voice ever.

Dean could only nod.

Sam's voice melted in a smile. "Sorry Dean, didn't know bringing up having kids of your own would cause you to faint like a little girl."

Mary looked back at her father in confusion. "I never fainted Daddy."

Sam bit his lip. "If Amelia heard me saying anything like that, she'd give me her evil death glare," Sam said with a shudder. "I really should watch what I say," he said with a shrug.

"Um, Sam, could I talk to you alone?" Dean asked, ignoring the way Cas now looked like he was pouting, probably from Dean's reaction to having kids.

Cas held out a hand. "Come on Mary, let's get some food, okay?"

"Dude you sure you're ok?" Sam asked when they were alone.

Dean shook his head. "No, not at all."

Noticing the freaked out look in his brother's eyes, Sam stepped closer, placing a hand on Dean's shoulder. "What is it? You're not having another gay crisis are you?"

Dean scowled, not even bothering to answer that. "Sam, I don't remember any of this," Dean gestured around him. "I don't remember being with Cas, moving in with him, you having a kid."

Sam opened his mouth to talk, but shut it again, looking very confused. "Dean what are you saying?"

"I'm saying one minute we're setting up for a hunt, you and me getting a motel room and then...nothing. I thought when I woke up, naked...with Cas and a headache that I just got drunk last night and banged an Angel of the Lord. Is he, is Cas even an angel? Are we in an alternative universe right now?" Dean felt like he couldn't breathe, what if a monster had gotten to him and was just making him believe this was all real but in fact he was being sucked dry somewhere in an abandoned warehouse.

Sam sighed. "Dean, I know what's wrong."

"You do?" Dean asked, glad to finally have answers.

"Three years ago Cas made you promise to give up hunting when you ended up in a coma thanks to practically getting your head bashed during a hunt. When you woke up you had no memory of you and Cas dating, you hadn't been married at the time, but you had been dating each other. It took you three months to remember and after that, every once in a while you forget. But don't worry man," Sam squeezed Dean's shoulder. "The memory loss never lasts long."

Dean nodded, it all made sense now, but still, not hunting, that didn't feel right.

"Do you still hunt?" Dean had to ask.

"Are you crazy? Amelia would have my balls if I even thought about it, beside, no way would I do that to Mary, always gone like that."

"Like Dad?" Dean asked with a raised eyebrow, knowing how Sam felt about the man. Sam shrugged, stepping back.

"Hey, don't tell Cas about this ok?"

"Why?" Dean frowned, for some reason no liking the idea of keeping this from Cas.

"Well, ever since getting his grace taken away from the other douche angels, every time you get hurts, he's reminded that he'd just another helpless human like us and it depresses him. Don't get me wrong, Cas is a strong dude, but not being able to just heal you up kills him."

"But what do I do? How do I hide this from him? He'll know! I don't even know my way around the house."

Sam shrugged, "You two act the same around each other as you did before, just more open with each other. More touchy feel-y too," Sam said with a disgusted look. "I've learned my lesson about just walking into your house. Seriously, I'd be afraid to have my child sitting at your kitchen table now if it weren't for Cas being a clean freak."

Dean couldn't help but smirk at that. Ok, so maybe this wasn't so bad. Dean could do this. He's always had more than friendly feelings for Cas, he'd admit now. And he's had sex with guys before so it's not like he didn't know how to do it.

But oh yeah, he was a bottom anyway. Ugh. Too bad for Sam that he had to walk in on that.

"So Sammy, when you walked in was I on top or bottom?" Dean couldn't help but ask, not only wanting to freak and disgust his bother with mental images, but also wanting to know if Cas and him switched it up every once in a while.

"Neither," Sam looked ill as he seemed to remember something. "But by the foreplay going on, you, Dean, macho man, are a bottom."

Dean was afraid he'd say that.

* * *

**Hopefully I'll have the second part to this chapter (Dean and Cas still married) uploaded soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

All too soon, Dean found himself alone with Cas once more after Sam and Mary left to where they lived, just down the street. Dean thought all was going well, Cas didn't suspect anything, but mostly Sam had been saving his ass the whole time, jumping in when Cas said something Dean had no memory of. Now though, they were alone and Cas was looking at Dean like he was ready to jump his bones.

"I do enjoy Sam and Mary's company, but I'm glad they're gone," Cas had been moving closer to Dean and ended up whispering the last part in Dean's ear. Dean gulped as Cas, with a dark look in his eyes, gripped the front of Dean's shirt and shoved him down against the nearby sofa, falling with Dean, and sitting on him, Castiel's knees on either side on Dean's waist. He bent down and started kissing down Dean's neck.

"Cas," Dean couldn't do anything but moan as Cas sucked at a sweet spot on Dean's neck. He didn't want their first time to be on a sofa! Or at least the first time he remembered it.

Whatever happened to making it special and - oh!

Dean felt like he was melting as already Cas got Dean's pants button off without Dean realizing it and was now stroking Dean's dick.

"Mmm," Cas moaned against Dean's neck, now gripping Dean's hair with his other hand as he jerked Dean off, tugging slightly on his hair and Dean found he liked it. "You always get so hard for me, so fast."

Dean couldn't help the flush that made its way up his neck to his face. Cas pulled back slightly to look Dean in the eyes and Cas, the bastard, chuckled.

"Oh that made you blush?" Cas tilted back his head and laughed and Dean had a moment to enjoy the beautiful noise - wait beautiful? It was nice, just nice! - before Cas was looking back at him with a mischievous grin and dark look in his eyes. Dean gulped as he realized Cas was about to play with him.

Dean couldn't handle this Cas, he felt behind somehow, like they were taking a test and Cas was a question away from finishing while Dean was stuck on question one. Dean needed a cheat code!

"Then I wonder what this will make you do..." Cas leaned closer to him, pressing his lips against Dean's before moving them across his cheek and going back to whisper into his ear in a husky voice.

The more Cas talked and told Dean in detail of what he planned to do with Dean, the more freaked out and hard Dean got.

Cas pulled back to wink at him, his eyes still dark with lust as he moved off of Dean's lap and onto his knees in front of Dean. Dean gulped as he watched Cas go from looking down at his member to looking up at him through dark eyelashes that were impossibly long for a man. Cas licked his lips before moving to lick his way up Dean's dick. Castiel's hands gripped Dean's hips as he took Dean into his mouth.

Any protest Dean was about to make about the whole situation died in his throat and was replaced by a deep groan.

It felt so unbelievable good, not only the way Castiel was taking him all in, but the way he was using his tongue, the way he was humming like there was nothing he enjoyed more and the look in his eyes as he watched Dean as Dean was the center of his universe and the way his lips looked around Dean's dick. Dean would see this image, this moment of Cas on his knees, an Angel of the Lord sucking him off, every time he closed his eyes.

"Cas," Dean moaned, sinking further into the cushions behind me, his eyes nearly rolling back as Cas bobbed his head faster, pulling off only to suck Dean's balls into his mouth before going back to deep-throating Dean's dick.

It all felt too good, Dean would be a little embarrassed afterwards about how all thought had went out the window as he gripped Castiel's hair and started pumping his hips, but in the heat of the moment he didn't care. And Cas wasn't complaining as Dean fucked his face, his eyes danced in amusement as he looked up at Dean.

Dean finished while looking into Castiel's eyes, something Dean Winchester, manwhore had never done before. But the look of love and happiness in Castiel's eyes was more than enough to have him tumbling over the edge.

* * *

**I am so sorry for the long wait, and sorry this chapter is so short, I wanted to make it longer, but decided to just post up what I had now since I've kept anyone who is actually reading this hanging for too long. The thing is I wrote the second half first and had to go back and write this half so it took longer than it should. Anyways this is what I had so far, the next update won't take months I promise! I'm writing it now. And after that update I will have the next update up quick and plus the ending since it's already written. And sorry if the smut isn't any good, I'm still pretty new at this.**


	3. Chapter 3

Dean could barely catch his breath before Cas was yanking Dean's pants and boxers off of his ankles and throwing them away, unzipping his own pants right after.

"Lube or no lube?" Cas asked as he bent down and started trailing butterfly kisses across Dean's naked shoulder.

No lube? Dean blinked, horrified at the thought. Didn't lube make it not hurt? Why the hell wouldn't he ever want lube?!

Dean felt like a teenage virgin all over again. On one hand he just wanted to get the whole thing over with and on the other he wanted to make it special.

It wasn't like Dean was going to place rose petals on the bed and light a bunch of candles, but still…he wanted it to at least be on a bed. Dean didn't want his first time having sex with Cas to be on a sofa and for it to be a quick fuck before they got on with their day.

Dean felt like such a girl.

"Whoa Cas, slow down there cowboy. Why don't we move this to the bedroom?" Dean stuttered as he placed both hands on Castiel's shoulders, forcing Cas to stop in the process of undressing and pause in his smothering kisses that had Dean feeling like he was on fire and on the verge of getting hard again so quickly.

"Bedroom?" Cas questioned, cocking his head to the side. "Don't be silly baby," Cas said, bopping Dean on the nose with his index finger, reminding Dean of when Cas had gone off his rocker. Dean blushed red at Castiel calling him a pet name.

Cas shrugged off his shirt, pushing Dean's chest until Dean was lying flat on his back. Cas moved to lay on top of him. Dean opened his mouth to protest further, even moving his hands to grip Castiel's shoulders again, planning on moving him off of Dean, but then Cas moved against Dean and Dean felt lost.

Castiel's erection rubbed against Dean's still soft member, but that didn't stop it from feeling good. Dean sprang back to life, his dick growing hard as Cas swirled his hips and moved against him. Dean's hands moved from Cas' shoulders to his butt, gripping Castiel's naked ass and pulling him closer, his eyes rolling back at how good it felt to have Castiel's nakedness against his own, feeling the hard muscles of Castiel's. The heat and friction between them was growing and Dean was once again hard as a rock.

Why wasn't this a good idea again? Dean found himself trying to grasp any logical thoughts, but all he could feel was Castiel's hard dick against his own, the moving together and Dean was gone.

Cas pressed a hard kiss against Dean's lips before pulling back slightly. Precum was dripping off Castiel's glorious dick as he positioned himself against Dean's entrance. Dean couldn't help but buck his hips and wiggle down as Cas started to push the head of his dick inside of him.

"Oh God yes!" Dean all but cried as Cas worked his hips to push his dick in a little more, moving painfully slow as to let Dean adjust better.

Before Cas could get even get part way inside of Dean, and before Dean could understand exactly why he liked being a bottom so much, there was a pounding on their front door.

Theirs. This house was theirs. Cas and Deans. All theirs and no one else's. Dean finally belonged; he finally had a place to call home.

If Dean were a girl or a baby he would have cried and then held Cas closer to him, but he wasn't, so he didn't.

"Shh, it's ok," Cas whispered against Dean's lips, cupping his cheeks when Dean whimpered – actually whimpered! – when Cas pulled out of him. "I'm just going to go smite whoever is at the door and I'll be back to take care of you ok?" Cas asked, looking at Dean with a half-smile and narrowed eyes. Cas did look really to smite whoever just interrupted them, so Dean knew he'd have to be the one to answer the door.

With a laugh, Dean moved to quickly get dressed.

"Don't worry Cas, I got it," Dean said, his face flaming hot as he looked away from Cas who was also putting back on their clothes. Both men had raging hard-ons that could be seen clearly even with their pants on.

"Stab out their eyeballs for me," Cas growled when Dean moved to go answer the door. Looking back at Cas who was still half naked, buttoning up his pants, Dean couldn't tell if he was joking or not.

Reminding himself once again to never get on the nerdy angel's bad side, ever again, Dean answered the front door.

"Dean, oh thank god!" A young, early twenties male with stylish black hair, rectangle black glasses and khaki wearing pants, man threw his arms around Dean. "When you didn't answer your phone I got so worried and oh my goodness, please for the love of God come in early!"

Dean raised his hands up as the unknown male hugged Dean's waist. Cas was now walking towards them, his eyes dark with annoyance and his whole body language screaming anger as he stalked over towards Dean.

Dean gulped, feeling like he was in trouble.

"Jones you better have a good reason for not only coming at this time, but for having your arms all over what is mine," Castiel spoke in a deeper voice than normal, his eyes narrowing on the guy, Jones.

Jones stepped back, causing Dean to breathe out in a sigh of relief. It had felt so uncomfortable having the dude hug him. There were only few people Dean felt comfortable with hugging. One of them being the pissed of ex-angel standing extra close to him now, looking like his feathers had been ruffled.

"Sorry man, but I need Dean, like now. Rush hour came early, I'm down two workers and one of the ovens isn't working!"

Dean felt completely lost as they both stared at him.

"Um, yeah, sounds like a personal problem to me," Dean answered, raising his eyebrows and placing a hand on the door, giving Jones the hint that it was time for him to leave now.

Jones stared at Dean with his mouth hanging open. "Personal problem? Personal!" Jones threw his hands in the air. "I swear Dean, sometimes you can be so…ugh!" Dean watched in mild amusement as Jones got all flustered. "What will it take?" Jones seemed to mutter to himself. He then dropped to his knees and Dean looked over at Cas in shock, but Cas was only rolling his eyes at Jones display.

"Please Dean! I need you," Jones begged, his hands clasped together as if in prayer.

"It's ok Dean," Cas sighed. "We can pick up where we left off later, right now you should go to your store."

Store? Why the hell didn't Sam mention he had a store?

It turned out Dean owned a bakery shop; Dean couldn't believe how gay he actually turned out to be. Instead of opening a car shop, he opened a damn bakery that made every pie a person could dream of and more, thanks to two chefs he hired.

Dean wondered later that night as he lay in bed how he got so lucky to end up living an apple pie life with his best friend that he always fantasized about being more.

Cas plopped face down into bed, on his side a few minutes later.

"Tired," Cas explained as Dean looked over at him with raised eyebrows.

It turned out that Cas used his free time to help build homes for those in need and did a lot of other charity work. Cas didn't need to work because of Dean's successful bakery shop that Cas also had part ownership to and even used to work at, but Cas actually liked working. But by the end of the day he was worn out, only to be up early and ready to go the next day.

With each day Dean was learning more and more about Cas and his life.

Every Sunday they went grocery shopping together. Cas mainly cooked in their house and was always making sure everything was in order, always cleaning. They went on date nights every Friday night. It felt good to hold Castiel's hand as they watched a movie. One Friday Cas even suggested a sort of foreplay that involved them "meeting" each other at the bar, pretending to be strangers. They ended up giving each other blowjobs in the bathroom and it was way better than Dean thought quick hand and blowjobs in the bathroom of a bar would be.

It was a miracle that Dean made it a couple of months without having penetrating sex with Cas. Cas was always attacking him every chance he got. Dean couldn't even take a shower without Cas coming in and wrapping his arms around Dean. Heck, when Dean came back home, Cas would grab him by the front of the shirt, yank him into the house and slam him against a wall, pressing into Dean and kissing him.

Dean wasn't complaining at all, but he was still freaked out about sex with Cas. Dean wasn't new to the whole having sex with a man. But it was Cas! Dean knew that Cas would just know Dean wasn't the same and then he'd be sad when Dean would finally have to come out and tell him the truth and seeing Cas sad was horrible for Dean to watch. On the news there had been an accident where children had been killed and Cas looked on with the saddest, puppy dog expression that had Dean's heart squeezing painfully.

"If I were still an angel, I would be able to heal those three kids that survived, but are barely hanging onto the very threads of life," Cas whispered as they laid in bed together, his head resting on Dean's chest. Dean stroked Castiel's hair. Pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"The world isn't yours to save Cas," Dean spoke, but he was also lost in his own thoughts and self-pity. The way those kids were getting sick and being killed soon after just wasn't right. Dean knew there was something fishy about the whole thing and wanted to dig into it further. It was like a rash that he just needed to scratch.

But if he did look into it and Cas found out…Dean didn't want to ruin what they had.

He really didn't.

But for the next week he found himself obsessing over the case. Looking into it, checking up on it in the news, drinking more and more as more children were starting to get sick.

Finally Dean knew what he had to do.

What he always did.

Dean was going hunting.

* * *

The day Dean decided he would pack up and tell Cas that he was going to a pie convention that would give him new ideas for pies, was the day Cas had a meltdown.

After telling and even showing proof – no matter how fake it was – of the town over having a pie convention, Cas still flipped on him.

"You've found someone else haven't you?" Was the first thing Cas asked.

Dean's heart stopped at even the thought of cheating on Cas. "What? Baby, no," Dean said, cupping Cas's cheeks, rubbing his thumb just under Castiel's eyes where there were bags that Dean hadn't noticed until now since he had been obsessing over the case. Dean felt comfortable around Cas now, after months of being married to him, Dean felt as if they've always been together. Dean couldn't imagine a life now without being married to Cas. Waking up every morning, pressed up against Castiel's warmth and smile was Dean's own personal Heaven. Dean didn't know how he got so lucky to end up with Cas.

Cas looked to scrub Dean's back and hair in the shower, Cas loved to cook for Dean, it turned Cas on to give Dean blowjobs and he would randomly throughout the day. Once even going to Dean's work while Dean was working on fixing the same oven that broke over and over again and pulled Dean into the storage room, dropping to his knees without a word. Whenever Dean didn't know where something was, all he had to do was ask Cas and Cas would know, always remembering where Dean placed things. Cas loved to hug Dean and snuggle with him in bed or when they were watching movies in the living room. Cas really loved to kiss and was always kissing Dean as if he needed it like a fish needed water and lately he had been kissing Dean more and more often, always asking if Dean loved him as much as he loved Dean.

Dean realized now that Cas knew something was up, he just thought the wrong something was up.

In some ways Dean did feel like he was cheating, but he'd never get together with another person, not when he had Cas.

There could be no one better than Cas. Dean didn't want anyone else.

"Don't you trust me?" Dean asked and then felt bad because he was after all lying to Cas and about to go off on a hunt.

"Of course Dean, but," Cas looked down, his whole body language screaming sadness. Castiel's eyes were wide, his shoulder drooped and he was frowning. "You don't want to have sex with me anymore. You used to always touch me more too," Cas was nearly in tears. It was true that Dean wasn't touching Cas as much as he wanted to. Dean wanted to attack Cas with heated touches and long kisses, but then he was afraid he'd lose control and having his first time with Cas end up against a wall on in his baby, the impala.

"Cas…I've just been busy with work. I'm getting old man, I don't have the energy I used to," Dean bullshitted.

Cas looked up at him with his eyebrows raised high. Cas smacked Dean's shoulder. "You lying bastard," Castiel's face now twisted into anger, but Dean saw pain in his eyes too. "The other day you went out and chopped those annoying three trees I wanted down and hardly even broke a sweat!"

Cas shoved away from Dean, moving to pace inside the living room.

"You tell me now, Dean Winchester, who this person is, right now! Is it Jones, because that is just gross!" Cas hissed and even though Dean knew the situation was serious, he couldn't help but smile at how cute Cas looked, all angry. Dean knew how scary Cas could be and how deadly, but right now Dean just wanted to kiss Cas all over.

It was time for Dean to stop being such a little bitch or else he would lose the person he loved.

"Don't make me wipe that smile off your face Dean!" Cas hissed, picking up a vase as if he were going to throw it at Dean. Dean realized Cas only used Dean's name when angry or during sex.

Dean moved forward, grabbing the vase out of Castiel's hand, throwing it away, shocking Cas when the glass hit the wall behind them and shattered. Dean took advantage of Cas' shock and shoved him down onto the floor, following him down, Dean straddled Castiel, leaning in close to nibble on Castiel's ear, causing him to shiver.

"I'd have to be pretty stupid to cheat on someone as amazing as you," Dean spoke honestly as he pressed his hips closer to Castiel's, letting him know just how much his dick loved Cas. How hard it was already for him.

"You have been known to do foolish things," Cas reminded him, but instead of looking angry, he looked turned on, his eyes darkening in lust and his legs falling open as Dean rubbing himself against Cas' hardening erection.

"There's nothing better than having sex after a long time of waiting for it. And bonus, make up sex!" Dean supplied as Cas flipped them over, taking charge and holding Dean's wrists down, looking like he wanted to teach Dean a lesson. Dean hoped his weak reasoning would be good enough.

Cas smirked down at him as he started unbuttoning his jeans. "I should have known," Cas said rolling his eyes. "I'll never understand why you always like working me up and getting me angry before throwing yourself at me like this," Cas talked in between kissing Dean, the two battled for control, but finally Dean let Cas take over and instead bit Castiel's lip, making their kisses turn more fierce.

It barely took Cas a minute to get all of their clothes off, and Dean was glad that the living room had such nice carpeting that felt like laying on clouds. The whole time Dean was either on his back or hands and knees as Cas moved inside of Dean.

Dean's arms wobbled as Cas pulled back only to slam in just as quickly, doing this over and over and he leaned into Dean's back, biting down on Dean's shoulder.

Dean now knew why he loved being a bottom so much. It. Felt. Amazing. Dean wanted it to never end, even if his hands and knees were starting to hurt from staying in the same place too long. Dean's eyes even rolled back into his skull and he made lots of noises as Cas kept hitting all the right spots.

Dean felt full and loved as Cas straighten up, gripped Dean's hips and slammed balls deep into Dean a few more hard times before Dean could feel the pulse of Cas' dick inside of him as he came, wetness filling up Dean that didn't feel as unpleasant as he thought it would and he found he even liked it. Wanted more of it.

He forgot all about the case and instead spent another week in bliss, having sex with Cas every which way in every room and place they could. Dean's favorite so far was when they were in the kitchen about to cook together, but somehow ended up with Cas sitting in one of the wooden chairs and Dean riding on Castiel's dick, their chests pressed close together as they stared intensely into each other's eyes the whole time.

But soon Dean just had to check out the case with the children.

"So…a week?" Cas asked, pouting as he wrapped his arms around Dean's shoulders. "Please don't go," he begged as he kissed Dean deeply.

"Don't worry, I'll be back," Dean promised, giving Cas one last kiss. "I love you."

Cas looked sadder than Dean has ever seen him. "Don't do this," Cas said and by the look in Castiel's eyes, the desperation and betrayal shining in there as Dean placed a duffle bag in the trunk of his Impala, Dean knew that Cas knew what Dean was going to do.

Dean should have known Cas wasn't so blind.

Dean looked away. "I'll be back soon, it's no big deal," Dean gave his fake smile, and pretended he had no idea what Cas was getting so worked up over.

"Dean," Cas gave him a look that said, "Stop with the BS." Cas shook his head, crossing his arms. "I was waiting you know, for you to change your mind. I didn't actually think you'd get as far packing a bag AND loading it up in the car. You've never gotten out the front door!"

Dean realized he must have tried leaving before; only to feel guilty and stay, both Cas and Dean pretending they didn't know that the other knew what was going on. Until now, when Cas realized Dean was actually going through with it.

"You made me a promise!" Cas practically snarled. "No more hunting."

"I need to do this!" Dean burst out, feeling like a cornered animal. "I have too! It's in my blood Cas! I can't just stop!" Dean stormed his way around to the other side of the car. "Just this one time Cas, I'm sorry," Dean jumped into the car, turning the key and starting up his baby.

The sad look on Castiel's face as Dean drove off, looking back in the mirror, would forever haunt Dean's dreams.

It would also be the last thing Dean remembered before waking up in a hospital bed.

* * *

**Sorry for any mistakes made in this story, I didn't proof-read. **


	4. Chapter 4

**PART TWO**

Blinking awake, Dean groaned as a sharp pain stabbed his head. It felt like his head was splitting wide open.

"He'll wake up one day, I know it," a familiar voice said in a distance.

Dean groaned again, rubbing his eyes as he took in his surroundings. He was laying in puke green painted room, with one single window that was hidden behind a thick white curtain. Sunlight was the only light filling the room.

Dean felt shaky as he lifted his head and looked over to see a beating large machine. Looking down at his wrists and clothing, it finally hit Dean that he was in a hospital. His brain felt like mush and his body felt numb and for a terrible second, Dean thought he was paralyzed.

"Sam!" He cried out in terror as he looked over to see the door opened and voices coming from the hallways. "Sammy!"

The voices silenced before he heard a rustling. "Oh my god," he heard a gasp and in the next second Sam was bursting into the room, his chest rising and falling quickly as he looked over and met Dean's bright green eyes.

"What…is he," Cas slowly walked in behind Sam, slowly and unsure as his eyes met Dean's. Dean felt a sort of calm settle over him at seeing both Sam and Cas healthy and alive. His heart beat way faster than it should have at the sight of Cas looking at him with those wide, blue, puppy eyes. Well maybe not, as Castiel was Dean's husband, and one usually didn't have control of their heart around a loved oen. "Oh Dean," Cas whispered brokenly, looking like he wanted to step forward, but when he turned and looked at Sam, Cas lowered his head, but not before Dean saw his expression.

It was one of guilt.

"Dean, thank god!" Sam tossed Cas a frown, before rushing to Dean's side with a wide grin.

Dean was confused as he looked from Sam to Cas, who still had his head lowered. "What the hell's going on Sam?" Dean asked him after they hugged, and Dean found that no, he was not paralyzed. Just drugged up and feeling heavy.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Sam asked, his hands gripping the side of the hospital bed as he looked back at Cas, confusion crossing his face as Cas kept his distance.

Dean closed his eyes as exhaustion hit him.

Him and Cas, they were married, of course, looking down at Castiel's finger, he could still see the ring, it made Dean smile, glad that they still were married and confused as hell. The last thing he remembered was heading to a hunt, leaving a distressed Cas standing in the road. How the hell he end up in the hospital? Oh no, did the hunt go wrong? Was it memory loss making him forget what happened to him?

"Cas and I had an argument and then I drove off. Did I get hurt while I was hunting? I'm so sorry baby," Dean spoke to Cas.

Cas flushed red and looked at Sam with wide eyes.

Dean frowned, looking at Sam for answers when Cas just looked away. Why was Cas acting so distant and weird? Oh god, was Cas going to ask for a divorce?

"Baby?" Sam looked confused, looking over at Cas before shaking his head. "Uh, sorry I never knew you two…well," Sam looked uncomfortable. He kept looking over at Ca, but Cas wasn't meeting anyone's eyes. "But it's fine, I should have guessed…"

"I didn't know if it meant anything or not." Cas finally looked up and slowly walked over towards the bed. "I don't know what they did to you, but it put you into a coma."

Wait what the hell was going on? Did Cas really just say he didn't know if Dean and him meant anything? Why in the hell was Sam acting like he didn't know either? And who the hell was "they"? Dean felt like his head was sure to explode.

"Who? Who put me in a coma?"

"It was the angels," Sam explained.

"They came in after you…after we had…afterwards and started to fight us. They stole my grace and then touched your forehead, I thought they had simply put you to sleep for a little bit, but you haven't woken up in…"Cas trailed off.

Dean's heart squeezed in his chest. Oh god, Cas had probably been in pain for a long time, waiting for Dean to wake up! But wait… Cas didn't have his grace, he wasn't an angel last night! What the hell was he saying?

"Three years. It's been three years," Sam said, his eyes filled with tears and pain. "Oh god, Dean, I'm so glad you're awake, I thought…I thought you'd never wake up."

"Sam, you know I'd never leave you. And Cas, baby, I'm sorry for not waking up sooner." Dean looked down at Castiel's hand that now rested on top of the white sheet and Dean reached out and took it, squeezing his hand. Now that Dean was awake, they'd have a lot of catching up to do, with both Cas and Sam. Sam probably had another kid, maybe two.

Cas snatched his hand back from Dean's like it was on fire. A sharp pain shot threw Dean's heart as he watched Cas back away from him.

"Cas, I'm sorry, are you mad at me?" Oh god, maybe while Dean was out for all that time, Cas probably stopped loving him, or maybe he started loving someone else. "Wait, what were you talking about, about your grace? You were pretty damn human last I remember. And for a long time before that."

"Cas, you should probably tell him everything, from that day, he probably has some memory loss, and not the version you told me where there was no sex involved," Sam seemed to be scolding Cas as if he were disappointed in him, which made Dean feel like he should back Cas up, telling Sam it wasn't his business that they were having sex and that he needed to stop acting like he didn't know anyway. "I'll even leave you two alone."

"I don't understand," Dean felt so confused.

Sharp beeping filled the room, causing Dean jump in surprise. He looked over to see Cas pulling out his phone and answering it. Dean frowned, wondering who the hell could be calling Cas. Dean wondered if Cas managed to make friends in the last years Dean's been out.

A terrible thought that Cas was now with someone else hit Dean like a ton of bricks. He wondered if Cas was now re-married to a beautiful, kind woman, possibly one who went to church every Sunday, dragging Cas along. Or even worse, a man! Dean decided against that when eyeing Castiel's clothing. To Dean's relief, Cas was still wearing Dean's old faded, gray shirt with lose fitting jeans. Dean's heart soared at knowing Cas was still wearing his clothing all along. So Cas didn't get some kind of divorce from Dean while he was out, good.

"Hello?" Cas answered casually. "Yeah, I will be right there, give me about five minutes. Ok…ok, bye."

"Joan?" Sam asked. Dean felt jealously flare at whoever this "Joan" was.

"Who's Joan?" Dean asked in a way that had Sam looking at him questionly and Cas looking at him with a blank expression, it reminded him so much of way back when Cas was an angel.

"I own a bakery in town and Joan is one of my employees."

Dean nodded, right the bakery, Cas had to take over full time probably.

Dean smiled, "You gonna make me a pie tonight for dessert," Dean wiggled his eyebrows. "I'm sure I'll be good to go home. You better not have put up those damn purple curtains in the house while I was out," Dean joked, hoping Cas did whatever made him happy while Dean was off in lala land.

Sam was just staring at him like he didn't know him. Cas was looking at him like he was about to cry. Dean didn't know what he said wrong, but he really wanted to hold Cas in his arms.

"Dean…what the hell are you talking about?" Sam finally questioned.

"Oh nothing, Cas and I had this little argument once about what color curtains to put up in our living room, can you believe Cas wanted purple curtains?" Dean snorted, remembering the light purple curtains Cas had brought home. Dean pretty much had let Cas have control of the decorating, but he had put his foot down for that one. It had been during the day, hours before he left to that damn hunt.

Sam still looked confused. "Your living room? As in… you and Castiel's living room? As in living together?" Sam asked slowly as if he thought Dean was stupid.

"Yeah man, what the hell are you the one with brain damage? You know, me and Cas' house, the one two freaking roads over from you and Amelia's house? And your daughter Mary? Any of this ringing a bell?"

Sam bit his lip and looked over at Cas.

Cas looked like he was about to fall down in a puddle of tears. "Oh no," he whispered.

"Oh no what? Seriously, c'mon on guys?! What the hell is going on? I swear I'm the only one who is in his right mind right now," Dean was starting to feel desperate. "C'mon Cas, get me out of here baby, I just want to go home and lay in our bed, I'll even be the little spoon if you get me out of here now."

He looked over at Sam, expecting him to mock Dean for the little spoon comment, but instead Sam was looking down at Dean with the most pitying expression.

"Dean, stop calling me that," Cas said as he backed up from the bed even more. Cas looked over at Sam while Dean stared at him in shock. "I think the angels made Dean live in a dream world where…" Cas looked back at Dean. "What was our relationship?"

Dean snapped. "What the fuck?! We're freaking married you asshole!" Dean knew he must be dreaming, this wasn't his Cas. All he had to do was wake up and he'd be warm and safe in Castiel's arms. Dean held up his hand to show his wedding band, but it wasn't there. "Do you have it?" he demanded of Cas.

"You thought we were married. And in your dream, you thought Sam was married to some women?"

"It was real, this _is _the freaking dream! I don't have to explain shit, soon I'll wake up and everything will be back to normal." Dean crossed his arms stubbornly.

"Dean," Sam looked so sad as he reached out, but thought better of it and dropped his hand.

Sam bit his lip and looked over at Cas. The two seemed to be sharing a secret or private conversation or something as they gazed at each other and it was pissing Dean off.

"Stop looking at him like that," Dean couldn't help but scold Sam.

"He can look at me however he wants Dean, Sam and I are –"

"Dean," Sam cut off Cas and whispered. "I'm sorry man, if I had known how you felt. If I knew that you loved Cas so much that you'd get yourself stuck in a dream world married to him for three years…I'd never even consider, I'm so sorry Dean," Sam finished looking back over at Cas with a guilty expression.

Dean was super confused until he looked down and noticed the ring on Sam's finger. It was a twisted silver and gold ring. Just like the one Cas gave Dean. Oh god…Dean felt like as if it was getting harder and harder to breathe.

"You two…you're married?" Dean squeaked, looking back and forth, not being able to believe it.

Dean felt like he was no longer in the room with the way Sam and Cas were looking at each other, like they shared a secret. He should have known by the looks they were giving each other. Dean and Cas used to give each other those looks.

"Yes, for two years now," Cas now stood next to Sam. Dean saw red as he watched Cas and Sam holding hands.

All Dean could do was turn away. "Congrats," he said bitterly, feeling betrayed. How long did they wait…How long did Cas freaking wait before him and his little brother…Dean couldn't even think about it. About them two doing everything Dean and Cas had done married.

"Cas, I'll go to the bakery, see what's the problem, I think it'll be best if you two talked," Sam rushed out in a whisper.

Dean looked over to protest, wanting them both out of his face, but stared in shock as Sam leaned down and actually dropped a kiss on Castiel's lips and Castiel responded. It was short and then Sam was out the door. Dean wanted to yell out in outrage. To see his husband, or the man he thought was his husband, kissing his brother, the feeling of betrayal just couldn't be explained. For the first time in his life thoughts of murdering his brother entered his mind before he closed his eyes and willed himself to calm down.

Dean hoped Cas hit him over the head and would send him back into his blissful dream. Because right now, he was in a nightmare.

* * *

Dean felt Cas half throw himself onto Dean, Cas trying to hug him. Dean refused to open his eyes. If he did, he might start crying, not that he'd ever admit that.

"Oh Dean," Cas shook and Dean felt tears slide down his neck, where Cas had his face pressed.

Dean felt empty as he wrapped his arms around Cas.

"Dean, I – I'm so sorry. I didn't think you'd ever wake up, I was so afraid and I felt so lost and then so angry and then Sam, Oh Dean, Sam he, he helped me and I couldn't – I couldn't stop from falling-"

Dean, not wanting to hear about how Cas and Sam feel in love, clenched his jaw and pressed Cas harder into him, muffling his voice.

"Shut up Cas, just. Shut. The. Hell. Up," he grounded out, clenching his jaw and blinking rapidly to stop any unwanted tears from falling. Dean desperately wanted to hold onto Cas just a little while longer.

Cas pulled back slightly and looked at Dean with a tear streaked face. Dean couldn't bring himself to look up into his eyes, but at least now he could open his eyes without tearing up.

"Dean," Cas whispered, stroking his hand down Dean's face.

Dean closed his eyes, his heart squeezing in his chest. "Why Sammy? Why him Cas?!" Dean felt his body shudder as he realized, Sam and Cas, they were not only kissing and hugging, but fucking. They were together, and the way Sam had gently kissed Cas when he left, it meant they were in love.

Dean willed himself not to cry. He should be happy that his little brother was happy.

"Get off me Cas," Dean weakly pushed against his chest. Cas backed off with hurt in his eyes. Dean guessed now that Sam wasn't around to witness it; Cas wasn't going to pretend to be put off with Dean. It made Dean want to hit him, Dean didn't like that Cas was hiding what he was feeling for Dean from his brother, but then he understood that it would hurt Sam. Dean cleared his throat and forced all his emotions back, deep down in his heart and locked it up inside of him.

"Do you love Sam?" He had to ask, had to make sure Cas wasn't just using his little brother.

"Of course," Cas answered, there was no doubt in his voice.

It hurt, goddamn, it hurt so much.

Dean swallowed and grinned. "Good, I'm happy for you two!" Dean playfully slapped Castiel's arms. "Now why don't you go find out when I can leave?"

* * *

Cas filled Dean in on everything happening. How Sam and he were no longer hunting, how they lived in a nice suburban house and owned a beagle dog named Bones. Dean had to listen while Cas happily told him about him and Sam's apple pie life, it sounded so much like the marriage Dean and Cas had been living in his dream, except for the dog.

Cas too, had pushed back his feelings for Dean and was acting like everything was fine and normal.

So the truth had been Cas was an angel when him and Dean had a stupid argument and then Cas had slammed Dean into the wall of the motel they were staying at on a hunt while Sam was back at the bunker. Then somehow they had ended up kissing, and then having sex. After that Dean fell asleep while Cas watched him, wondering if it was just sex or if Dean loved him. He'd never find out though because angels attacked, stole Castiel's grace and put Dean in a happy place where he'd never even tried to wake up. It was a miracle Dean even did and it wasn't purposeful.

Dean wanted to ask about his clothes that Cas was wearing, but decided that he didn't like how it got his hopes up and didn't want to hear the answer, as it might be one he wanted to hear, but shouldn't.

"Here it is," Cas whispered, when they pulled up in front of a decent sized house that had the greenest grass and one of those seat swings on the porch. Dean's mouth dropped open when he realized the house was just like the one he owned with Cas. When he told this to Cas, Cas explained that Sam and him had been talking to Dean while he was in a coma and must have built his fake life based on what Sam and Cas had been describing about theirs.

So basically Dean couldn't even hold onto the memories of his Cas, because none of it had belonged to him, it was all Sam and Castiel's life. Except for the sex, he doubted they talked about their sex life to him, but the fact that it was probably similar to their sex life had Dean's blood boiling.

Sam ended up with Dean's dream. Dean wanted to be happy that his little brother and the love of his life found happiness together while he was MIA, but it was really freaking hard to be so selfless. Maybe if he hadn't had that dream while he was out, then he'd be ok, but the whole married to Cas had felt too real.

Dean knew even though Sam and Cas might be done hunting, Dean was not. He never would be. That should have been his first clue that he had been in a dream world, when he had stopped hunting and owned a bakery, that obviously would never happen.

Dean promised himself that he'd hunt the fuckers who did this to him down.

"Well it's as nice as I remember," was all Dean could say as he opened his door, dreading going inside and seeing all the pictures of him and Cas replaced with Cas and Sam.

Cas had to help him walk as Dean, not only not being used to walking, but had damaged legs from when the angels broke all his bones and just fucked him up so bad, that even after these years, Dean was just now healing up.

Cas smelled nice, he was wearing cologne, and Dean started to lean into him when he also smelt Sam's scent on Cas. Turning his face away in disgust, Dean bit his lip as he limped alongside Cas up the stairs and into the house.

Dean paused and took in his surroundings. He came face to face with pictures of Sam and Cas on the wall in front of him. Three to be exact and they looked so happy. In one picture they were kissing and Dean looked away, stopping Cas from trying to drag him into the living room that he could see looked well kept.

"You two really went all out, didn't you?" Dean breathed out, feeling like he had been punched in the gut because everything about this felt so wrong.

Cas was looking at him intently. "It wasn't our idea, but Joan; she's a good friend, set this all up. She told us about this nice house for sale that was super cheap because it was said to be haunted and after we salted and burned the last owner's bones, we moved in. And Joan came over and started complaining about our lack of family photos and so…well yeah," Cas finished lamely.

In his world, it had been Cas who insisted on all the family photos because he had wanted to most normal life possible.

"Just take me to a guest room," Dean rubbed his head as he heard a dog barking, probably from the backyard. "I need a nap."

"Of course," Cas looked concerned and worried for Dean and Dean wished he wouldn't look that way, as if he actually cared about Dean.

"I don't know what to do Dean," Cas whispered as he helped Dean into bed. "I love Sam, but ever since that night, we – you know, every time Sam and I are...together, I feel as if I am cheating. I can't hurt him, I love him too much."

"Cas…" Dean shook his head. He felt torn. On one hand he wanted to say his little brother deserved better than someone who had feeling for another, but then his feeling for Cas stopped him. There was no way he'd tell Cas that he wasn't good enough for someone.

All of this felt so, so wrong.

"I'll make it easy for you Cas," Dean hardened his voice. "What we had, it wasn't love. It was the best fuck of my life, but I never loved you, so stop being so dramatic and let me get my four hours."

Castiel's face fell and Dean hated himself.

"Don't say that!" Cas whispered harshly, his voice breaking. "Don't…" Shaking his head back and forth, Cas stepped back, his face closing off. "I'll wake you when it's time for dinner," his voice was hard and cold as he said this.

When the door shut behind him, Dean threw an arm over his eyes and let the tears flow freely, not that he'd ever admit that to anyone.


	5. Chapter 5

The next two weeks were painful. Dean felt sick to his stomach as he limped lightly into the kitchen to see Sam pressed up against Cas, kissing.

Cas held a coffee mug in his hand and was using his other hand to twist in Sam's hair, pulling him closer. They looked so comfortable together and Dean knew this was something they did often. Dean could tell Sam was trying to be less touchy-feely while Dean was around. Sam had tried talking to Dean about feelings and all that other crap, but Dean had told him not to worry, that he was happy for the two.

Apparently Sam took that as an ok to flaunt his relationship with Cas.

It was getting to the point where Dean knew one of these days he'd walk in on Sam and Cas fucking and Dean couldn't take it anymore.

He was starting to resent Sam, something he'd never want to do, and he felt anger boiling up in him with every touch and look that passed between Cas and Sam.

"I'm leaving," Dean announced later that day. Cas stayed put where he was, sitting next – and super close – to Sam, practically sitting on his lap. Dean watched as Cas looked over at him in shock before biting his lip and looking away.

Sam jumped up. "What? Where you going?" Sam asked as he stood near Dean who was leaning against the door frame.

Dean shrugged. "I'm still a hunter Sam, I'm going to find a case and work on it."

Sam made the famous bitch face of his. "C'mon Dean, we got a good thing going over here. You could stop and –"

"And what?!" Dean exploded. "Live with you and Cas for the rest of my life, just sitting around on my ass while people are out there dying? No way Sam! Besides the way you and Cas are always on each other is just down right _disgusting_," Dean practically snarled the word, knowing he sounded jealous.

Sam blinked in shock. "I thought you were ok with us? You told me that that dream life never felt right, that you were glad it wasn't real."

Cas stood up and slowly made his way towards the two brothers, shooting Dean a look. Sam reached out and grabbed Castiel's hand without having to look for it.

Dean ignored Cas. "It's not that, I don't want to see that shit," Dean all but growled, and then toned it down a bit. "I'm not giving up the family business Sam; I'll never give it up."

"Ok…" Sam looked sad, and Dean knew Sam was beating himself up. Sam dropped Cas' hand and looked down at the floor.

"It's ok babe," Cas told him and it sickened Dean. Cas turned to Dean as if he could read his thoughts. "Why don't you stay here until you actually find a place and come back whenever you're taking a break or not on a case?" Cas asked and Dean could tell it was just for Sam's benefit.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, c'mon Dean, we'll even cut the PDA out when you're around and we can work this all out. You don't have to go, I feel like I just got you back."

Guilt was eating Dean alive and in that moment he had never hated himself more than he did in that moment. Sam, he was hurting Sam. How could Dean hurt his little brother? Sam didn't know how desperately Dean wanted to fuck Sam's husband into the ground, or maybe he did know and just didn't fault Dean for it?

It wasn't Sam's fault that Dean ended up in a coma, forcing Cas to seek comfort in someone else's arm and those arms happened to belong to Sam. And it sure as hell won't anyone but his own fault that he had dreamed up a life of Cas and him together.

None of that was Sam's fault.

Damn those goddamn angels for what they've done!

"I'm sorry Sammy; I'm leaving in an hour. I hope you don't mind, but I'm taking the Impala back."

And with that he tried to get out of there as fast as possible. Hating the puppy dog eyes that both Sam and Cas were giving him.

* * *

Later Sam tried talking to him alone.

"You both love each other," Sam stated. Dean whipped his head around, eyes wide. "Don't even try to deny it. Cas tries to hide it, but I see it. I'm sorry Dean, about how this turned out. You're my brother."

"Sam…"

"I'm going to talk to Cas, me and him can go on a break while you and him try to figure out what you feel about each other." Sam looked like he was being torn apart. "I don't want to be the reason my husband and brother end up unhappy."

"Sam, god, no!" Dean shook his head, not believing his ears. Sam wanted to step back and let Dean try to steal his man? Already Sam was proving to be a better man than Dean. "Cas loves you man. You are what's best for him Sam. With me, he wasn't as happy as he is now," Dean lied. "Besides, I feel sorry for you. Being tied down to one person is just horrible. I'm the lucky one in all this."

Dean picked up his duffel bag with what little belongings he had in it.

Sam was just looking at him with a raised eyebrow. Trying to figure out if he believed the older hunter or not.

Dean leaned in and hugged Sam. "I'll be back soon to visit. The next time you see me, I'll have a blonde on one arm and a redhead on the other."

Shortly after Dean left. Not even waiting for Cas to come home from his bakery job either. And Dean didn't plan on going back any time soon.


	6. Chapter 6

[One year later]

Dean was drunk, but that wasn't new.

"Hello Dean."

Jumping slightly, Dean turned in his chair to find Cas sitting there, watching him intently as if Dean was the only one in the world.

"Cass," Dean slurred, grabbing the shot in front of him and throwing it back.

Dean jumped again when Castiel placed a warm hand over his. "Why don't I take you home?" Cas whispered, leaning in close to Dean's ear.

"Where's Sammy?" Dean asked his vision blurry as he looked around.

"Home, he's been worried, you haven't returned his calls since you've left."

"How'd you find me?" Dean accused, pulling his hand back.

"I saw you on the news dressed up as an FBI agent at a crime scene. Have you solved the case yet?"

"Yeah, it was a shapeshifter, I ganked that bastard," Dean replied, feeling fuzzy as he smiled.

"I'm glad you aren't hurt," Cas spoke softly as he stroked Dean's cheek. "So glad," Cas whispered against Dean's cheek.

Dean gulped as everyone around them fell away and he leaned in, not being able to help but be drawn closer to Cas.

"I've missed you man," Dean let slip. "I've missed you so much," and with that they were kissing savagely, now standing as they tore at each other's clothes. As Cas kissed his neck and Dean leaned back, Dean realized they had somehow ended up back in the motel room.

"Cas, cas, cas," Dean whispered like a prayer against Castiel's chapped lips.

"Don't worry Dean," Cas said, shoving Dean back into the bed until Dean was laid out flat. "I'll take care of you." Dean stared up at the ceiling as Cas moved down. Dean listened as Cas unzipped his pants before Dean felt wet lips close around his member.

"Yes Cas, just like I remembered, just like that!" Dean moaned out.

"Dean? Cas?!" Dean jerked, sitting up and looking over in horror to see his brother staring at them with mouth hanging open, betrayal and hurt clear in his eyes.

Dean jerked awake. Looking around, he realized he was alone. Completely and utterly alone.

Shrugging on a jacket, Dean hoped either a bar or liquor store would be open.

This whole time Dean hadn't been hunting, he had been too drinking and fucking his way from state to state. Dean tried hunting, but it had been hard to focus on the paperwork when he was too busy drinking and focusing on drinking and then focused on picking up anyone willing, man or woman from bars.

Dean felt like he would be someone's bitch if he bottomed for anyone else than Cas, so he became a top. And it felt good, to take over control and felt lost in the feeling of someone else. It always made him feel good a moment, until that person was gone and he was once again left alone with nothing but a bottle of liquor.

The dreams of him and Cas were coming often and Dean knew he needed something to distract him.

What better way than starting up hunting again?

The next day Dean made sure he had everything packed in his trunk that he would need to hunt. All it took was another day to find a case and then he was off.

On the way to his hunt, Sam called. Dean ignored him. He called again. And again. When Cas started calling, Dean turned off his phone, reaching in his pocket he took out his flask and took a swig.

That was all it took for him to get into an accident, the last thing he saw were bright headlights.

* * *

**Part Three and final chapter coming up. **


	7. Chapter 7

This time when Dean blinked awake, he didn't have a headache, he wasn't in a hospital or random bed and he didn't have any memory loss.

Dean knew exactly what was going on and how he ended up getting knocked out and thrown into alternative universes.

"So Tricksters back to his tricks huh?" Dean called out, sitting up slowly and looking the abandoned building. Sam and Dean had been tracking weird happenings in the area. They were both lead to two different places. Dean had been knocked out the moment he stepped inside this building, waking up with Cas sleeping on top of him and having to recollection of what happened.

A laugh filled up the space before Gabriel appeared before Dean. "Hello Dean."

Dean wished he had an angel blade with him at that moment to wipe the smirk right off of the angel's face.

"So what was the lesson this time you dick?" Dean growled.

Gabriel shook his finger at Dean. "Now now, no need to be so hostile."

"Seriously, cut the shit."

Gabriel sighed a huge sigh. "Fine, but you should really learn how to not ruin all the fun."

Dean just stared at him, his fist shaking at his sides.

"The way I see it buddy boy is you got two choices. Option One: Live the apple pie you've always wanted with dear ol' Castiel. Option Two: Instead be miserable while Sam lives the happily ever after you've always wanted. Sure him and Castiel would never end up together, but Castiel will find someone else and Sam will also have a life, one that doesn't involve hunting with you."

"So hunt or be happy?" I sneered. "That's why when I went on that hunt you sent me into another alternative universe and then when I hunted again you what? Gave up on teaching me a lesson and sent me back to reality?"

"Ding, ding, ding! Give the man a prize!" Gabriel exclaimed, smirking. "Look Deano, I like you. It's why I picked you to, well, pick on while I was bored. All I wanted was to hit you with a dose of reality. You could have option A or option B. Which will it be? Hm?" The angel was seriously starting to tick Dean off.

None of it had been real. Sex with Cas. Cas looking at him with love. Being married and spending the best year of his life with Cas. The torment the second time around when he woke up from his fake coma to find Sam and Cas married. It had felt like he spent a whole real year doing nothing but drowning in booze, women and men and in his own sorrow. All of it had been a lie.

"Well not quite all of it," Gabriel spoke up, having read Dean's thoughts. "Your feelings and actions were all your own. With Castiel you were happy. Without him you were miserable."

"Why do I have the feeling this isn't about me hunting at all and more about Cas?" Dean growled out.

He couldn't believe he was once again being played and mindfucked by an angel.

"And while you're at it, give me one good reason why I shouldn't gank your ass," Dean added.

Gabriel held his stomach as he laughed. "Bitch please!" He held up a hand. "Look, you may have forgotten, but Castiel is family and before I go off to enjoy a long life," Gabriel sneered at Dean. "I would like to see him happy. And if you insist on being stubborn then I'll make you live Part Two of your little coma over and over until you realize you were meant to be with him."

"That is quite enough Gabe," a deep voice interrupted them.

Dean knew it was Cas by the way his heartbeat spiked the moment he heard Castiel's voice.

* * *

**This of course isn't the last chapter, the next one is, this was supposed to be, but I only got around to writing part of it and I didn't want to keep anyone waiting for this part. Honestly this story was supposed to just be a whole lot of smut so sorry if this was disappointing as I tried giving it a plot. Next chapter will mostly be smut.**


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